If I do say so myself (and I am the playwright), this is the perfect Passover play to perform with your family at the Seder. You don’t need a Yul Brynner or Charlton Heston—just a few flamboyant relatives willing to lean into the drama.
Why perform a Passover play at your Seder?
In my family, we’re a theatrical bunch, and the Haggadah can feel a bit…boring. We’ve moved well beyond the Maxwell House version and now use the contemporary Passover Haggadah assembled by novelist Jonathan Safran Foer (Everything Is Illuminated). Even so, it can still be a bit of a slog.
A few years ago, I met the folks behind JewBelong—you may know them from their bright pink billboards tackling antisemitism? Confession: this was way before October 7th and way before Israel began its relentless attack on Gaza. (Trying not to get political here so let’s leave it at that).
That encounter with the Jew Belong founders got me thinking about new ways to engage my family with Jewish stories and traditions. The site, JewBelong, features all sorts of interactive ways to engage your “Jew-ish” family members at the holidays. For several years, we performed a skit I found on their site. That is, until my ENTIRE family banned it for being too corny,
So what’s a devoted non-Jewish mother to do but write her own (slightly less) corny version of the Passover Story? So here’s my very own “The Story of Passover” Play which I share with you here, royalty free for your thespian seder.
The Story of Passover, A Family Friendly Play
A few facts about this Passover play. There are six big speaking roles (The Narrator, the Director, Pharaoh’s daughter, Pharoah, Burning Bush and Moses). I intentionally wrote in the role of the Director who gives stage prompts – assuming your talent will be reading their lines for the very first time and will need direction. It helps to have a few props. Moses’s shepherd’s cloak can be figured out of an old sheet, the Pharaoh and the princess benefit from crowns and definitely order a bunch of plastic frogs, flies and gnats from Amazon to throw at the pharaoh. I found a broken tree limb for the character who plays the burning bush to hold. And, as they say, “improvise.”
The Passover Play in Five Acts
Narrator: Long, long ago there was this dude whom we just call “Pharoah.” Pharoah was an evil, despicable, deplorable greedy man. Pharoah wanted to build the biggest buildings, the HUGEST golf courses and have the biggest kingdom in the land, and he had no shame. He’d do it at the expense of his people.
Director: Plus, he had really small fingers and a really small penis so had to overcompensate.
Narrator: This guy, this pharaoh – we aren’t really sure of his name. Some people think it was Ramesses, some people think he was Thutmose. We don’t know for sure. (looks at audience) So what should we call him? (pause).Okay Donald it is. Donald was also super paranoid and he realized he was at risk! Act one! Let the play begin!
Pharaoh: What if my slaves plan an insurrection? What will I do then? I know! …. I have an idea.
Narrator: So, the Pharaoh called all of his midwives together.
Director: Okay all ya’ll who are chorus. You now get to be midwives. Gather around the evil pharaoh!
Pharaoh: All you midwives. You’re there at the baby’s birth right? If you see an Israelite baby boy being born, kill him! All of them! Off with the baby boys heads!
Director: Jochebed, mama get up on stage. I don’t know how to tell you this but you are with child. And we (the audience) don’t know this yet, but Jochebed is Moses’ birth mother. Okay, now pretend like you are having a baby.
Jachebed: (Stands on the make-shift stage, grunts and pulls out a baby doll.)
Director: Great. Now put the baby in a basket in the water.
Narrator: Act two!! A baby is floating alone on the Nile river.
Director: So, Pharoah’s daughter – she’s a real princess and she is walking along the Nile, humming “La dee dah..”
Princess: “Good heavens! What do I see! Is that a bebe? Oh, it’s a boy baby! And he’s (look shocked!) circumcised. I’m going to bring this baby home and pretend like he’s my bebe.”
Narrator: Act Three! We are in the Pharaoh’s Palace – in the Pharoah’s Daughter’s chambers. Young moses, now a tween, is tossing and turning in his bed.
Director: Tween Moses get in bed! Princess walk in!
Princess: My dear child, why are you still awake?
Tween M: I don’t know mommy – it’s weird. I keep having a nightmare that I’m floating in the Nile? It’s creepy. And you know how Daddy always says, “I am your father?” in that Darth Vader voice? In my nightmare, he screams, “I am not your father!”
Director: Okay Tween Moses, exit. Adult Moses enter stage left.
Narrator: In this act, Moses now a young adult is played by (__________). Moses is rummaging around in a drawer and finds his birth certificate.
Director: Pharoah’s daughter, we need you again! (motions the princess back on stage).
Moses: (Looks at birth certicate – looks shocked.)
Narrator: Moses discovers that he is in fact not the son of the pharaoh. In fact, he is a Jew!
Moses: (Opens his Birth certificate, shows it to the audience. Is visibly shocked!) I’m a Jew! And I didn’t even get a Bar Mitzvah?”
Princess: I’m sorry you missed your Bar Mitzvah darling, but you’re still officially a nepo baby. And better yet, now you can go out and perform Tikkun Olam, and repair the world.
Director: The Pharoah’s Daughter touches Moses’ forehead with her golden wand and says……
Princess: Heal the world dear Moses. (touches Moses’ forehead with her wand)
Narrator: It’s now act 3. I think? In this act, Moses is fully grown and no longer a Nepo Baby. Moses is in fact, a really good guy and indeed intent upon healing the world. And this is when Moses does something very bad that does not jive with healing the world. He comes upon an Egyptian taskmaster who is beating a Israelite slave and he just loses it and ……. He kills the task master.
Moses: Good golly! I’m going to get arrested. I better get out of dodge!
Director: Moses put on a shepherd cloak and go hide in Midian and pretend you are a shepherd. If you get arrested and put in jail, it will ruin the ending of the play!
Narrator: Act four? I’m losing track! MOSES runs away to Midian and becomes a shepherd. Moses is now a humble servant tending to his sheep
Director: Moses, we need you here. Chorus you are now sheep! Start baaing and bleating. Burning bush, hide over there.
Sheep: Baaa, baaa…
Director: Moses look adoringly at your sheep. Burning bush furtively enter scene
Bush: Psst HEY Moses!
Moses: Wha?”
Bush: Moses!!!
Moses: (looks around – confused) I smell something burning!
Bush: It’s me Moses, Burning bush!”
Moses: No WAY! ???? That burning bush is talking to me! What the heck?
Bush: Well, I’m not really a burning bush. I’m actually a theophany—from the Greek words that mean both “God” and “apparition.” I’m not really God but I am a temporary, visible sign of God’s presence. (shakes head) Never mind.
Moses: Okay, whatever, I’m listening.
Bush: I have a message from you know who… ( points to sky) you must go back to Egypt and tell the Pharoah “Let my people go!”
Director: This is your cue for your big song number chorus, a one, a two, “LET MY PEOPLE GO….
Chorus: Sings the line in barritone: Let my People Go!
Moses: Go to Egypt? Confront the evil Pharoah? Tell me you’re joking bush. I’ll get detained by ICE!
Bush: Don’t worry. I got you. I called ahead to your brother Aaron, he’s got your back.
Moses: Even if we get past the gates with the security cameras and his motion detectors, we’ll never get in.
Bush: I have the secret code! Tell him “Putin” has sent you and you’ve got the pee pee tapes!
Director: We are now at the Pharoah’s headquarters – pharaoh, get on your throne.
Narrator: Aren’t I supposed to introduce a new act?
Director: Shut up. It’s Act whatever.
Pharaoh: (Sits on the throne scratching his crotch!)
Director: I need Aaron up here.
Aaron: By decree of God, send in the flying frogs!
Director: Can I get my flying frogs? (Motions cast member to throw plastic frogs on the pharaoh).
Pharoah: What in Jesus’s name is going on? All these god-damned plagues! First, I had boils on my “you know what” and then it was locusts swarming….and now it’s flying frogs!
Aaron: And now by another decree of God, send in the flies and gnats!
Director: Can I get my flies and gnats? (Motions cast member to throw flies on the pharoah).
Pharoah: What the hell? What are these swarms of flies?
Aaron: (Somberly). “And now by decree of God, cue darkness across the land.
Director: Can I get my darkness? (Motions cast member to put sunglasses on the pharaoh).
Narrator: Months have passed in the pharaoh’s kingdom – the kingdom has been afflicted by plague after plague. Both Aaron and Moses approach the pharaoh and ask him again and again to “let their people go. “
Director: Come on CHORUS: you know your song! “Let our people go! “
Pharoah: There is no way, no how, that I’m going to “Let your people go.
Moses: Okay pharaoh. Let’s be real. This last plague is going to hurt bad, real bad. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
Director: MOSES throws a snake down at the pharaoh and walks away.
Narrator: God is left with no choice. The final plague. Namely the “Killing of the firstborn.” IT’S now Act 5: We’re somewhere in the ISRAELITE Village. This very smart Israelite…..(pause)
Director: Can I have a smart Israelite?
Narrator: …this smart Israelite is going around to every Israelites home and marking the door with Sheep’s blood. Tonight, God will “Passover” the homes of Israelites, sparing their children. But the Egyptian children? (motions cutting throat)
Israelite: (Pretends to be dotting door frames with blood)
Moses: Come along everyone! It’s time to leave! Don’t worry about raising your bread. Grab your matzoh and let’s get the heck out of dodge!
Director: Chorus. Follow Moses to the shore of the red tablecloth. (Director lays out a red tablecloth to cross)
Narrator: Moses leads the Israelites to the red sea.
BabyM: How will we cross Moses?
Moses: Fear not – follow me.
Director: They cross over the red sea. And then Pharoah and his henchmen follow. They get to the red sea; they try to cross but they drown! (The Director throws the red tablecloth over the Pharoah’s head.)
Pharoah: (falls to floor) I’m melting!
Director: Okay Chorus, this is your second big number. Everyone in unison .” Ding dong the pharaoh’s dead, the wicked old pharaoh, the mean old pharaoh Ding dong the wicked pharaoh’s dead! ”
THE END
Props: Baby doll (for Jachobed’s fake birth), Crown for Princess & Pharoah, Plastic frogs, bugs and sunglasses for the plague, Wand for princess, Shepherd’s cloak for Moses, Red tablecloth for red sea, tree branch for burning bush).